ExchangeEveryDay Past Issues

It is not Early Reading that may be harmful but the TEACHING of Early Reading that may be harmful. Your title is misleading!

My colleague frequently shares your interesting and high quality articles with me. I appreciate your balanced approach and developmentally sensitive information. However, your recent article "Raising Generous Children" was an exception. The article was confusing and certainly as "counter-intuitive" as the concepts it described. The idea that "Cheating was cut in half when instead of, 'Please don't cheat,' participants were told, 'Please don't be a cheater.' " is presented as though the end justifies the means and seems to disregard the high potential for emotional harm that comes with labeling.

The article goes on to describe some of the potential effects by describing the difference between guilt and shame. "Shame is the feeling that I am a bad person, whereas guilt is the feeling that I have done a bad thing. Shame is a negative judgment about the core self, which is devastating....." This paragraph seems to clearly support the concept that shaming a person through the feeling that they are a bad person i.e. a cheater id devastating and may lead to behavioral acting out.

My concern in reading this article is that this information is not clearly presented. As a reader I am left unsure of your position (but hopeful that you are not advocating the labeling of children in an attempt to shape behavior). It seems as though the article needs a closing paragraph to summarize the information and clearly present your position.

If your position is to suggest that labeling of the child instead of the behavior be used as a behavior management technique then a consult with an early childhood mental health professional or highly trained child development staff might be of benefit to the author of this piece. I hope that you will clarify your position in a future column so that children are not hurt by what seems to be your support of a very unhealthy practice.