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"During the early childhood years, children feel very strongly about fairness," observed Michelle Forrester and Kay Albrecht in their new book, SET: Social Emotional Tools for Life. They continue...

"However, in children's minds, fairness means getting what they want at the moment.  If they don't get what they want, it's not fair!  Children may object if one child gets something that they didn't get.... Teachers can help children understand that being fair does not mean that everything is equal.

"Teachers themselves also struggle with concerns about fairness.  You may feel it is not fair to give some children special attention, especially when that child's behavior is undesirable or problematic.  You might worry that the other children will resent extra attention being given to a child who acts out, or that usually cooperative children might imitate inappropriate behaviors to get extra attention themselves.

"Just as children come in all shapes and sizes, they come with all kinds of needs.  If you meet children's emotional needs in appropriate, positive ways... they have less need to demand negative attention.  Children may try on inappropriate behaviors after seeing them in a classmate, but they rarely hold on to behaviors that don't work the same way for them."

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