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Free Range Parenting
April 14, 2015
Learning patience can be a difficult experience, but once conquered, you will find life easier.
-Catherine Pulsifer

In a very well-reasoned New York Times opinion piece, "The Case for Free Range Parenting," Barry Estabrook observes...

"A study by the University of California, Los Angeles, has found that American kids spend 90 percent of their leisure time at home, often in front of the TV or playing video games.  Even when kids are physically active, they are watched closely by adults, either in school, at home, at afternoon activities or in the car, shuttling them from place to place.

"Such narrowing of the child's world has happened across the developed world.  But Germany is generally much more accepting of letting children take some risks.  To this German parent, it seems that America's middle class has taken overprotective parenting to a new level, with the government acting as a super nanny.

"Just take the case of 10-year-old Rafi and 6-year-old Dvora Meitiv, siblings in Silver Spring, Maryland, who were picked up in December by the police because their parents had dared to allow them to walk home from the park alone.  For trying to make them more independent, their parents were found guilty by the state's Child Protective Services of 'unsubstantiated child neglect.'  What had been the norm a generation ago, that kids would enjoy a measure of autonomy after school, is now seen as almost a crime....

"Many cited fear of abduction, even though crime rates have declined significantly.  The most recent in-depth study found that, in 1999, only 115 children nationwide were victims of a 'stereotypical kidnapping' by a stranger; the overwhelming majority were abducted by a family member."





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Comments (6)

Displaying 5 of 6 Comments   [ View all ]
Barb · April 18, 2015
Fort Worth, TX, United States


I wonder if the children would have been picked up and the parents charged if they had been walking to or from school?

Mindy Buchheit · April 16, 2015
Postville Childcare Services, Inc.
Monona, Iowa, United States


I do agree that we have to allow our children to take risks and be independent. I have to admit that I am that overprotective parent who's worst fear is abduction. We are currently working towards allowing my children to walk home from school, go on bike rides and go to the park by themselves. I, myself, did these and many more things when I was a child and probably at a much younger age. However, as we start to give and take independence my biggest fear has gone from abduction to fear of how other children behave and my children's ability to properly react. I feel that before you can allow your children to do set out on their own they need to be taught and understand the appropriate reactions to situations with peers. For example, when I take my children to the park and find unsupervised children, younger and older, are swearing, hitting, dumping pop and sand down the slides, and clearly have no problem acting inappropriately, I need to know that my children will react by leaving. They need to know what to do if someone (as in another child) is being physically aggressive or if another child is being bullied. What do they do if someone gets hurt? Lastly, the parents of "poor choice" children need to step up and teach their children that these things are inappropriate in the first place and I wouldn't need to worry about it.

Lourdes Galvez · April 16, 2015
Palmdale, CA, United States


I don't think it's fair to charge parents with a crime due to imagined potential dangers. Letting small children play with knives is a real danger and poses an immediate threat to their health. Walking home alone should be a parental choice. Neglect would be letting them walk home a long distance with no shoes on, especially in bad weather. But if the child has a key to the house, knows the route home and has been cared for well in every other aspect, then society doesn't need to butt in. The parents should be able to judge if their child is capable of this responsibility. Children are more competent than we give credit. I will admit, I would not allow my children to walk home alone, not because I think they can't do it but because of my own exaggerated fears (thanks to the media). BUT I also will not judge others that do allow it. It's their right to choose a parenting style that promotes more independence, of course within the capacity of that child. No sane parent is going to send a 2 year old walking home alone!

Marilyn Darilek · April 14, 2015
Deer Park School District
Deer Park, WA, United States


I "ditto" what Edna expressed - it's unfortunate that more parents aren't cognizant of the need to allow children to explore, problem solve, and test their competencies without the direct interference of parents or other adults when challenges arise. Children must be allowed to experience and risk failure - often - or they become less likely to succeed.

mindy camacho · April 14, 2015
United States


"ONLY 115 children were taken by stereotypical strangers" The word "only" has no business in this sentence.



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