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Honor Your Essential Self
November 9, 2016
The greatest sign of success for a teacher…is to be able to say, “The children are now working as if I did not exist.”
-Maria Montessori, Italian physician and educator, 1870-1952

As adults, we walk a delicate line between pleasing others and being true to our inner-selves. Much like the debate between collectivism and individualism, each has value.

Ruth Wilson addresses these concepts in the contexts of early childhood in "Honoring the Essential Self," Exchange May/June 2013. She asks that teachers and parents consider both a child’s "essential self" and "social self" when choosing how to react to a situation.

"We're born with our essential self; the social self develops over time. We learn about our essential self through the things we love and are drawn to. Our social self, on the other hand, develops in response to pressures from people around us. These pressures tell us how to talk, dress, eat, wait in line, and return our library books on time."

Wilson describes a situation in which an early childhood educator brings an intricate flower arrangement to school and places it in the art area for children to enjoy. A four-year old, driven by the desire to recreate a flower crown seen on her cousin (as a flower girl) plucks the blossoms and carefully begins to glue them to a strip of cardstock. Proudly, the four-year old returns to the arrangement to pull a few more petals. This time her teacher notices what she has done and responds.

Are you supporting the inventive and unique individual or the needs of the whole group? Hopefully as teachers and parents we can find that gentle balance.





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Comments (1)

Displaying 1 Comment
Lori · November 09, 2016
Pennsylvania, United States


This is when conversation is critical--the teacher needs to understand the child's thought process. There needs to be time to talk. Children have many fascinating ideas in their heads that don't necessarily match the teacher---dialogue is necessary!



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