What Boys and Girls Need

04/05/2007

The beauty of empowering others is that your own power is not diminished in the process.
Barbara Coloroso

As early childhood educators we struggle all the time to eliminate stereotyping of boys and girls. But recent research by neuroscientists is shedding light on some actual differences that we need to take into account in our caregiving. In Work & Family Life newsletter (March 2007; [email protected]), Susan Gilbert, author of A Field Guide to Boys and Girls (New York: Harper Collins), offers these suggestions from researchers on ways parents (and caregivers, we add) can meet the different needs of boys and girls in their first two years of life:

Give your son the attention he needs. Research suggests that infant boys need more attention than infant girls. They are more fragile medically, more easily stressed, and often harder to calm down. Yet many parents hold back from giving their sons too much attention, for fear of turning them into "momma's boys." However, some research has found that, when deprived of affection, boys' intellectual development suffers more than girls'.
Talk more to your son. Parents spend less time talking to their infant sons than to their infant daughters, a factor that may partially explain why boys talk later and less than girls. Regular one-on-one conversations are among the most important factors for brain development.
Don't rush in to help girls. Some studies show that parents are quicker to help daughters than sons when they are struggling to do something, perhaps because of the stereotypical notions that girls need to be protected from failure and boys need to play through the pain. Both boys and girls develop confidence and self-reliance from being left to try, fail, and then keep trying until they succeed.
Get your son working with his hands. Boys' fine motor skills lag behind girls' and the difference can be a problem in school — especially when they are learning to write. Young boys are drawn to gross-motor play, running, and throwing balls, so they may need some gentle encouragement to try drawing, painting, stringing beads, or fitting together interlocking blocks, all of which can develop a toddler's fine-motor skills.

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