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In "Supporting Teacher Performance," the first DVD in the new Voices: Insights from the Field series, Holly Elissa Bruno provides some dos and don'ts in dealing with whiners on the staff...
"Don't agree with the whiner — he's just going to keep on whining.
"Don't disagree with whiner — she's just going to have to prove she's right.
"Don't fix it for her — if you fix her problem, she'll just keep coming back to you with her problems.
"What you should do is interrupt a whiner. Say, 'Could you give me a concrete example of what you're talking about?' He's not going to do that because his whole purpose is to whine. So he'll go away.
"But he'll be back. When he comes back with a concrete example, say, 'Let's sit down and see if we can work together to solve that problem.' He won't want to do that because he wants to whine.
"When he comes back again, here is a magic phrase that works like a charm. If he comes back, ready to whine, say, 'Stop! Please don't bring that problem to me again. Since I can't help you with that problem, don't bring it to me again.' I have had whiners come up to me and then stop five feet away, because they know that I am going to say, "Stop! Don't bring that problem to me again.'
"The more staff members that take a stand and say, "Don't bring that problem to me,' or 'Let's sit down and problem solve', the more push back there is, then finally all this negative stuff can be pushed to the outside."
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