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08/17/2011

Situationally Disadvantaged

If there is one door in the castle you have been told not to go through, you must. Otherwise you'll just be rearranging furniture in rooms you've already been in.
Anne Lamott

In an article in the latest Exchange Esssentials, "Observing Children — Part I," Jim Greenman described what it's like to feel out of place in a new setting (for adults and kids)....

"I sat around the breakfast table of this sturdy farm family where I would spend the next few days.  We talked of fences to be mended, calves to birth, carburetors to rebuild.  I, the urban consultant, post-modern man, was polite and charming and absolutely useless.  What I knew and knew how to do was of little value here.  My daily rhythms had no correspondence with this sun-up to sundown physical life.  My cheery cynical wit brought on no smiles.  I generally felt incompetent, bored amidst the hard work others were doing, and increasingly reclusive.  Inwardly I was getting a little surly, my smile growing a little frozen.  This was not a situation I was quick to treasure.  Over time, I became more comfortable as I adapted to the situation.  But the me they saw was not the me I felt the best about.

"Many children in child care are situationally disadvantaged in analogous situations.  Just like me on the farm, the situation they find themselves in puts a heavy burden on them to use all their personal resources to adapt.  They are situationally challenged — their energy, patience, flexibility, and reservoirs of good will are put to the test.  Certainly new situations that require stretching may be necessary, and actually good for us, in that they broaden our experience.  Growing is learning how to handle an increasingly widening world.  But the immediate result is that we are not at our best."



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