Wishbones vs. Backbones

09/02/2011

What we must do is commit ourselves to some future that can include each other and to work toward that future with the particular strengths of our individual identities. And in order for us to do this, we must allow each other our differences at the same time as we recognize our sameness.
Audre Lorde, intersectional feminist poet, civil rights activist, 1934-1992

"Never grow a wishbone where a backbone should be," advises Debra Sullivan in her article, "Learning to Walk: Changing Yourself, Your Perspectives, and Your Assumptions," in the 200th Issue of Exchange. Sullivan continued...

"Clementine Paddleford, a culinary journalist and a pilot who flew a Piper Cub around the country in the 1920s, gave this advice to her daughter. This reminds us that you have to take responsibility for your life and not wait for someone to come fix it for you. Sometimes we want change, but we want someone else to make it happen. This can happen in big ways, like wishing a family member would stop making bigoted statements; and it can happen in small ways, like wishing your neighbor would stop parking in front of your house. If only people would change their behavior or change their minds without you having to say anything or do anything. Unfortunately, wishes don’t always come true.

"You can wish all you want, but sometimes you have to take a stand. Babies can take a stand and walk because they have a backbone. Personal change is about taking a stand, using your backbone, and deciding to take personal responsibility for the change you desire. And, yes, taking a stand can be scary, but don’t let that stop you. If you really want something to be different, you will find a way to make it happen."

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