Anger Never Works

01/06/2014

What we know matters, but who we are matters more.
Brené Brown

"In personal relationships, punishment — whether in the form of anger, criticism, or judgment — rarely works," opines Andrew Newberg in Words Can Change Your Brain (New York: Plume Books, 2013). "But the brain seems to be hardwired when it comes to disappointment. If we don't get what we want — even if what we want is unrealistic — the brain's anger center gets stimulated....

"The best solution to the cycle that we know is to interrupt the negativity by generating a thought that expresses compassion for yourself, the situation, and other people involved. The research is robust: if we deliberately send a kind thought to the person we perceive as having violated our personal space, we psychologically increase our sense of social connectedness and strengthen the neurological circuits of empathy and cooperation."

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