Do Not Fix Child Feelings

08/13/2014

If there must be trouble let it be in my day, that my child may have peace.
Thomas Paine

In their new book, Social Emotional Tools for Life, Michelle M. Forrester and Kay M. Albrecht advise...

"When children are upset, it's natural to want to comfort them by making their big feelings go away. Emotions don't need fixing. We don't want to remove emotions from a child's experience.... We suggest that teachers resist the urge to tell children they should feel differently than they do.

"Instead, focus on helping children name the way they are feeling and manage their intense emotions. Recognize and validate that the emotions are present and real to the child. Then, connect intense emotions to appropriate behaviors (such as taking deep breaths or sitting in a cozy corner) and teach children to use problem-solving skills, like calling for help from an adult or making a plan to get what they want. This helps children manage how they feel without dismissing their feelings."

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