The Four-Way Signal System for Babies

"Adults who trust themselves to be loving and facilitative are sensitive to the child's signals of distress and responsive to expressed needs," writes Alice Honig in her book, The Best for Babies.  She continues...

"Attachment researchers have confirmed how critical it is for caregivers to provide assurance that a child is well-loved through daily, tuned-in, intimate ministrations. A quality caregiver nurtures each child's trust in the adult and acknowledges the child's own ability to express distress and to get someone to meet those needs promptly and effectively. Trust is built on a four-way signal system:

• The child trusts himself: 'When I am feeling miserable, I can cry really loudly.'
• The child trusts the willingness and efficacy of the caregiver to fix the problem.
• The caregiver trusts her own effectiveness.
• The caregiver acknowledges and attends promptly and appropriately to the child's signals of stress or distress.

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