Honoring the Essential Self

11/03/2015

Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
Marcel Proust

In the article, "Honoring the Essential Self," which is the basis for the Out of the Box Training Kit by the same name, Ruth Wilson makes these observations...

"We're born with our essential self; the social self develops over time. We learn about our essential self through the things we love and are drawn to. Our social self, on the other hand, develops in response to pressures from people around us. These pressures tell us how to talk, dress, eat, wait in line, and return our library books on time. A baby's first true smile emerges from her essential self; but it's her social self, which — after noticing how parents love that smile — reproduces that smile for the joy of social interaction. Later, the child also learns to smile for social convention — that is, in social situations where a smile is expected, as when being introduced to someone or accepting a gift.

"A look at other types of behaviors associated with the essential self and the social self may help clarify the difference between the two. Behaviors of the social self tend to be conforming and imitative. As social beings, we watch people around us and often conform to the social structure we observe. For a young child, this might mean engaging in rough-and-tumble play with a friend in the park, but being gentler in interacting with an elder in a living room or nursing home.... Unless children adopt an appropriate set of social skills, they will not be successful in the personal and social realms of their lives.

"Behaviors of the essential self tend to be inventive and spontaneous, reflecting the uniqueness of the individual. For one young child, this might mean using her arms to fly like an eagle across the yard. For another child, this might mean wanting to use flowers to make a crown. For one child, this might mean sitting quietly to observe a beetle on the ground; for another child, this might mean using blocks to build elaborate structures. Unless young children are supported in the development of their essential self, a part of their unique spirit and personality tends to be squashed."

Softerware, Why you need management software to run your center.

Adventures in Preschool Second Language Acquisition.

For more information about Exchange's magazine, books, and other products pertaining to ECE, go to www.ccie.com.