The Secret of Happy Relationships

Today we are looking back over 3,500 issues of ExchangeEveryDay for April 17, 2002, where we shared an "offbeat idea to fix the world" from Utne Reader (March/April 2002):

"What makes the difference in the durability of a relationship is the proportion of praise to blame, according to Professor John Gottman of the University of Washington in Seattle.  Having recorded numerous couples arguing in his laboratory, Gottman reckons he can predict with 90% accuracy which of them will still be together in five years.  According to his findings, what counts is not how much in love they say they are, or in the number of fights they have, but the balance of positive to negative exchanges.  'Couples who say five positive things to each other for every negative one should be OK.  If the ratio drops to one in two, they're in trouble.'"

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