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In an article, "The Getting-Into-Preschool Puzzle: Can an admissions director really evaluate a 2-year-old?," appearing in the ezine, Slate, Emily Bazelon talks about the pressures on parents in certain commumities to get their children into a prestigious preschool:
"It's March, which means it's time for a spate of stories about the high comedy of preschool admissions. In certain cities — or rather, in certain well-off circles in a few cities — getting a 2- or 3-year-old into a coveted school is an enormous preoccupation. The preschool wars have adopted the weapons and lingo of the college wars: consultants, résumés, essays, safety schools, and early decision. This year, a film crew is coming to New York to document the preschool version of Survivor. And the New York Times and the Washington Post have parodied the benighted admissions process — with missives by groveling parents and chirpy advice-givers (when filling out the admissions form, 'describe your dream date, and not your actual child').
"In the press (and on the playground), the selective schools are the villains, and parents either the laughing stocks or the victims. The underlying assumption is that sorting small children comes down to judgments about their behavior that are wildly mercurial. This fear is overblown — at the most sought-after schools, who you know and how much money you're willing to donate just has to matter more than your toddler's personality — but it's not groundless. Several years ago, when I was a reporter in the East Bay in California, I went to watch an admissions 'play date' at an exclusive preschool. One 3-year-old refused to share his shovel in the sandbox. Afterward, the director confirmed that he hadn't boosted his application to the top of the pile.
"Since then, though, I've applied five times for preschool for my two sons in three cities (don't ask). And it's not all a war zone out there: In most cities, the demand for good — or good enough — preschools doesn't far outstrip the supply for people who can afford the tuition, at least for 3- and 4-year-olds. There's an "it" choice, but if you rationally compare it with the less "it" alternatives, you'll usually find they're on par. And the main thing those less "it" schools want from you is not a perfect child or a secret handshake but a $500 deposit.
"When schools check out your kid as part of deciding whether to let you write that check, they may indeed be in the business of weeding out the criers and the nonsharers. But they're not making up the assessment out of thin air. Evaluating a 2-year-old is not like evaluating an 18-year-old. Still, preschool folk can tell a fair amount about your small child. In fact, the more multidimensional (read onerous) the admissions process, the more they have to go on — and the more you learn about them.
"What do preschool admissions directors want to see? Curiosity, energy, some speech, maybe some ability to sit still. In some cases, potty training. What sets off warning bells? Temper tantrums. Extreme clinginess. Kids generally aren't expected to separate from their parents when they walk in the door for an interview or observed play session. But if they never want to leave their mother's lap, "then I ask about separation issues," one preschool director told me."
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