ExchangeEveryDay Past Issues

My philosophy regarding spanking or no spanking is that if it is going to be your last resort in punishing a child for unacceptable behavior, do not do it in anger. My advice to parents and significant others in the life of children is that we must not confuse these three important concepts - Discipline, Guidance, and Punishment - when dealing with children.

Regarding corporal punishment: Part of the challenge in the debate over the biblical admonition to "spare the rod, spoil the child" is the misunderstanding of the "rod". It isn't used in the context of beating the child. The rod was the crooked J shaped staff a shepherd used to protect his sheep. It was used to fend off animals that would harm the sheep and to provide a nudge of direction to create boundaries as the sheep herd moved. It also was used by the shepherd to bring a strong-headed sheep into the fold... the sheep who continued to wander would have it's one leg broken by the shepherd to make the sheep stay close and be dependent on the shepherd as he tended to the sheep in order to keep him safe. I am not suggesting that we break children's legs- please make the correlation to the guidance that should be given to children to create boundaries, keep them safe, and teach them the way they should go.

There are few resources avialble for children with challenging behavior, caregivers need to trained to handle this in the classroom. parents should be offered classes in parenting. child abuse/ spanking are strong words.parents themselves should learn about the emotinal dev. of the child and seek help when necessary. Life is short. It is our obligation to assist and guide the child. I hope parents/ caregivers take an active role in this area.

I get so tired of people saying a simple swat on the bottom is VIOLENT! There are some cases where a child needs more than a soft tone and time out! There is a huge difference between abuse or violence and "spanking" when necessary. It should be used carefully and rarely, but it can be beneficial at times too. EVERY child learns and develops differently, RIGHT? So how can punishment all be the same for all children?? It needs to be a case by case thing. I am sure we have many smart people in the world maybe even a few doctors, scholars, teachers, etc... out there that have been "spanked" as a children and they turned out fine. We baby the children and give them their way too much that is why we have so many young adults in the world that "kick and scream" if things are not as they feel they should be. If we treat/punish everyone exactly the same all the time, how are we developing individuals? We can not shelter kids from everything and expect them to prosper in the world we send them into. There are times we need them to see behavior has consequences and sometimes it has to be harsh. Otherwise, we are not doing them any good as parents.

Sad to say CP is also sanctioned by several states and district schools-North Carolina being one.