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The Cult of Self-Esteem
August 15, 2011
Good teaching comes from the identity and integrity of the teacher.
-Parker Palmer, American author, educator
-Parker Palmer, American author, educator
"Narcissists are happy when they're younger, because they're the center of the universe. Their parents act like their servants, shuttling them to any activity they choose and catering to their every desire. Parents are constantly telling their children how special and talented they are. This gives them an inflated view of their specialness compared to other human beings. Instead of feeling good about themselves, they feel better than everyone else.
"In early adulthood this becomes a big problem. People who feel like they are unusually special end up alienating those around them. They don't know how to work on teams, as well as to deal with limits. They get into the workplace and expect to be stimulated all the time, because their worlds were so structured with activities. They don't like being told by a boss that their work might need improvement, and they feel insecure if they don't get a constant stream of praise. They grew up in a culture where everyone gets a trophy just for participating.... They grew up in a bubble, so they get out into the real world and then start to feel lost and helpless. Kids who always have problems solved for them believe that they don't know how to solve problems. And they're right — they don't."
| Editor’s Note: In Friday’s EED about the Save Our Schools campaign, the videos of Nancy Carlsson-Paige, Matt Damon, and Jonathan Kozol were blocked due to a temporary issue with our server. To view them, please visit our website. |
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These are not your typical training DVDs. No scripts. No staged events. Interlaced with real-life classroom video, these powerful DVDs offer you practical ideas and experienced insights from seasoned professionals who speak with the passion and perspective that can only come from years of working with directors, teachers, young children, and their families. Each DVD provides a rich platform for staff development and training sessions that will inspire, motivate, teach, provoke new thinking, and generate lively discussions.
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Teach staff members about Blood Borne Pathogens and Universal Precautions. Includes facilitator manual, training DVD, and quiz.
See www.VIPTotsTraining.org.
Temple University’s Boyer College of Music and Dance invites you to have parents complete a music development questionnaire.
www.earnmoney4music.org
Comments (4)
Displaying All 4 CommentsChild Care Answers Child Care Resource and Referral
United States
Unfortunately, I see and have seen a lot of teens and young adults (15-25) act in this manner. My hope is that the children of tomorrow are being parented in a better way that reflects the reality of the world in which we live and not that bubble that the world revolves around them.
Marin Day Schools
San Francisco, CA, United States
I'd like to read the book before I make a judgement about the advice that it provides. So far, the article sounds a bit negative and dogmatic to me. My first impression could be wrong, especially since I share the authors' view that children need to learn team-work, problem-solving, self-control and self-esteem. No one wants a child in their care to become narcissistic. I hope that the authors give many details about how to solve "The Narcissism Epidemic."
United States
That's why rewards and empty praise are not helpful. Feeling worthy or having a feeling of self worth is what is most important. It gives children (and later adults) the belief that they are worthy human beings, but not better than others. That's gained through unconditional
love, from parents, and authentic, respectful relationships with with key adults.
Newton, NJ, United States
In a period of time when the majority of children are in group care, I'm not sure that that an "inflated view of specialness" is our primary concern. In fact I spend more time observing and agonizing over the opposite. I see children struggling to get their needs met and some adults struggling with the concept that children do indeed have the right to have their needs met. We are all special, and when this is tempered with the opportunity to be effective and empathy is modeled, it can be a wonderful combination.
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