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Happy Relationships
May 11, 2011
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The time when you need to do something is when no one else is willing to do it, when people are saying it can't be done.
-Mary Frances Berry
What makes the difference in the durability of a relationship is the proportion of praise to blame, according to Professor John Gottman of the University of Washington in Seattle writing in Utne Reader (March 2002)  Having recorded numerous couples arguing in his laboratory, Gottman reckons he can predict with 90% accuracy which of them will still be together in five years. According to his findings, what counts is not how much in love they say they are, or in the number of fights they have, but by the balance of positive to negative exchanges.

"Couples who say five positive things to each other for every negative one should be OK," observes Gottman.  "If the ratio drops to one in two, they're in trouble."








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