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Helping Angry Children
October 24, 2011
Reading is an exercise in empathy; an exercise in walking in someone else’s shoes for a while.
-Malorie Blackman, British writer
-Malorie Blackman, British writer
"Opportunities for children to play out life's experiences allow them to replay their feelings and to analyze these so that they can come to understand and make sense of what is happening to them. Early childhood professionals, as a means of enabling children to practice and understand adult roles and relationships, have traditionally provided dramatic play through home corners, etc. However, the usual dress-ups, dolls, and tea sets can be intimidating for children with frightening or negative emotional experiences to deal with. A far safer option is to provide a small tray with doll house furniture and small figures that are representative of the child's immediate family. These could include grandparents, siblings, significant family friends, etc. depending on the child's circumstances. The play space should be in a quiet area that affords some privacy from the hustle and bustle of the main playroom area. The child is then able to engage in re-enactment of troubling situations at arm's length, without needing to be the main player — a situation that can be too threatening or scary. The child's need for some privacy must also be protected, as well as protecting other children in the group from observing situations that they may find strange or disturbing."
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Comments (1)
Displaying 1 CommentYoung Child Ministries
Newbury Park, CA, United States
As one who has intently studied and taught about issues regarding children’s emotional and social development, I must take issue with the recommendation in today’s ExchangeEveryDay.
The best way for children to learn how to work out anger is not to allow them to act out stressful situations. Re-enacting a stressful situation only helps to solidify into the brain and behavior the negative feelings and reactions. Yet, negative emotions must be expressed and dealt with. In working with young children over the past 25 years, Young Child Ministries and our colleagues have discovered the most effective way to manage and handle a child expressing anger is to first recognize that the child is upset. Being observant of facial expressions, words, voice intonation and body language is important.
The key here is to (1) identify the behaviors, (2) identify the feelings, and then (3) offer to help with those feelings. (For more detailed information, visit our website at YoungChildMinistries.com)
How do you help a child with those feelings? Sometimes they just want to talk; sometimes they need to put their angry feelings in a box, sometimes they need to pray. What they don’t need to do is to re-enact a scenario. Re-enactments will begin to create habits and the habits will then become part of their character and stay with them for life. Redirecting them is not effective, either. Life is full of frustrations and negative feelings. It is our job to help the child deal with these while focusing our efforts on their overall character formation.
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