Home » ExchangeEveryDay » 10 Skills of Competent Parents



ExchangeEveryDay Past Issues


<< Previous Issue | View Past Issues | | Next Issue >> ExchangeEveryDay
10 Skills of Competent Parents
February 28, 2012
To the person who does not know where he wants to go there is no favorable wind.
-Seneca
There are 10 competencies that predict good parenting outcomes, asserts researcher Robert Epstein in Scientific American Mind (November 2010).  These 10, listed in order from most to least important, predict a strong parent-child bond and children's happiness, health, and success:

  1. Love and affection.
    "You support and accept the child, are physically affectionate, and spend quality one-on-one time together."

  2. Stress management.
    "You take steps to reduce stress for yourself and your child, practice relaxation techniques, and promote positive interpretations of events."

  3. Relationship skills.
    "You maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse, significant other, or co-parent and model effective relationship skills with others."

  4. Autonomy and independence.
    "You treat your child with respect and encourage him or her to become self-sufficient and self-reliant."

  5. Education and learning.
    "You promote and model learning and provide educational opportunities for your child."

  6. Life skills.
    "You provide for your child, have a steady income, and plan for the future."

  7. Behavior management.
    "You make extensive use of positive reinforcement and punish only when other methods of managing behavior have failed."

  8. Health.
    "You model a healthy lifestyle and good habits, such as regular exercise and proper nutrition."

  9. Religion.
    "You support spiritual or religious development and participate in spiritual or religious activities."

  10. Safety.
    "You take precautions to protect your child and maintain awareness of the child's activities and friends."






Save 40% today when you purchase any of these four titles on Parenting:

ExchangeEveryDay

Delivered five days a week containing news, success stories, solutions, trend reports, and much more.

What is ExchangeEveryDay?

ExchangeEveryDay is the official electronic newsletter for Exchange Press. It is delivered five days a week containing news stories, success stories, solutions, trend reports, and much more.

Parents love the messaging and security features of EZ-CARE2's TimeClock.  You’ll love how it saves time, reduces costs, and eliminates manual tasks!



Introducing BookFlix®, an online literacy resource that pairs fictional video storybooks from Weston Woods with related nonfiction eBooks. BookFlix is a fun way for early readers to practice reading skills and build knowledge. Start a free trial today!


Comments (5)

Displaying All 5 Comments
Terry Kelly · February 29, 2012
Spirit Child Yoga and ECE
Aurora, ON, Canada


As the eldest of 8 children, a mother, and someone who has been in the field for over 30 years, I think this list mostly makes sense. My disagreement is with the use of the "punishment". Discipline is different than punishment, as it teaches and uses logical consequences. Punishment often only uses fear as the consequence.
As for the contentious #9., I believe that all humans need spiritual nurturing as sure as they need food. That doesn't necessarily mean religion, although it can. Ironically, organized religion also uses fear as a form of behaviour guidance, often to very detrimental outcomes.

Tamara · February 28, 2012
United States


I do not consider myself spiritual. I am offended because, though this was based on research, it was done by allowing about 2000 parents to participate in a survey of what they feel helped their children. There is a large percentage of families who are religious, and who would probably feel that religion has helped their children. Good for them. It still does not make religion one of the ten most important competencies for raising children. This is not the opinion of one person -- it is the opinion of many. Also, parenting experts ranked religion as the least important of these ten particular competencies. The competency had to be ranked because it was included in the survey. Though the same could be said for any of these competencies, the point I am trying to make is this is someone's opinion, in part, because he planned a survey that automatically included religion as one of the areas of competency.

Lisa Sunbury · February 28, 2012
Regarding Baby
Santa Cruz, California, United States


To those who are offended by the inclusion of religion on the list, please note what it actually says is "You support spiritual or religious development and participate in spiritual or religious activities." Spiritual OR religious activities.
I am not all all religious myself, but do consider myself to be spiritual, and I don't take offense at the inclusion of religion on the list. Also, note that this article is based on research, so it's not someone's personal views. I think we have to be careful about hair trigger reactions and taking offense when none is intended. It's information- take it or leave it, but don't get yourself all in a tizzy over it.

Tamara · February 28, 2012
United States


I am offended by the assumption that good parents are religious parents. I have witnessed phenomenal parenting skills by people who are atheist or agnostic. Furthermore, I cannot believe that safety is last on the list. My children's saftey if of utmost importance to me because I believe this life is all they have. Religious parents are intitled, of course, to feel otherwise.

Janene · February 28, 2012
United States


#9 on the 10 Skills of Competent Parents is offensive. Religion. Not all people are religious and that does NOT make them ineffective or bad parents. Religion should be out of your realm of commentary. You should not be preachy, just inspiring.

Disappointed Reader



Post a Comment

Have an account? to submit your comment.


required

Your e-mail address will not be visible to other website visitors.
required
required
required

Check the box below, to help verify that you are not a bot. Doing so helps prevent automated programs from abusing this form.



Disclaimer: Exchange reserves the right to remove any comments at its discretion or reprint posted comments in other Exchange materials.