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The Children of 9/11
September 16, 2008
Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.
-Mary Lou Cook
Timesonline carried a story last week about the continuing impact on the 3,000 children who lost parents in the 9/11 terrorist attack.  Excerpts from this story:

"The average age of the “9/11 kids” when the twin towers fell was 9, but some were babies (or in their mothers' wombs). In the immediate aftermath of the tragedy many organisations clamoured to offer assistance to the grieving children, offering everything from counselling to music lessons, summer camps, mentoring, art therapy and scholarships. But, seven years on, it seems that '9/11 fatigue' has set in: funding for many of these support projects has dried up along with sympathy from friends and family.

"According to the charity Tuesday's Children, which has provided support to 5,000 family members since its inception in 2001, some children are only just beginning to open up about losing their parents. 'This year, some kids were able to express things for the first time,' says Terry Grace Sears, who is involved in running summer camps and mentoring programmes for the 9/11 kids. 'Particularly the young boys were grieving.'

"Sears says that some children were too young at the time of their loss to comprehend it, while others felt they needed to stay strong for the surviving parent and repressed their grief. They need support now as much as ever - as the years go by there are new challenges for the 9/11 kids to face as surviving parents move on, remarry and form stepfamilies. In some cases grief has driven families apart, and rifts with the deceased parents' relatives have left some 9/11 kids estranged from their grandparents....

"...as the years pass, families of US victims say that support from relatives has waned or even stopped completely, the implication being that they should simply 'get on with their lives.'  A survey of 110 families by the World Trade Center Family Centre found that nearly a quarter were now receiving little or no support from family and friends."



The Exchange resource, The Complete Parenting Exchange Library, contains 180 short articles for parents providing practical, appropriate advice on everyday parenting challenges. You can print these articles to share with a parent seeking advice, send them home with children, incorporate them into your center's newsletter, or share them with your teachers to assist them in working with parents. The articles are written by Karen Stephens, an expert in the early childhood field.  Included in the library are a series of articles on "Fears; Anxiety Related to Death, Tragedy, or War."

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Comments (5)

Displaying All 5 Comments
Catharine · September 16, 2008
Providence, RI, United States


I have to agree Danica's Comment. I too feel that the families do have to move on. It was tragic, and horrible, but we as a human race are capable of moving forward in the face of adversity...that being said, for some reason Americans more than any other country it seems, tend to dwell for far too long, on tragedies. Children loose family members every day: to cancer, disease, accidents, etc. etc. etc. They are ALL tragedies. They are all sad. No one wants to loose a family member, be it by cancer, or a plane crash. If we can't move on with our lives and be independant and self-reliant, than this country is going to be a bunch of forever-mourners wallowing in our own self-pity rather than overcoming obstacles and improving our lives. Money does not mend hearts.

Dot Tunstall · September 16, 2008
Lexington, South Carolina, United States


I, for one, have really heard enough about 9/11 victims. The warriors in the U.S. military who are defending our country have left many children behind also. Where is the counseling that these children need? Or help for their remaining spouses? It is my understanding that all of the families involved in 9/11 received quite a lot of money after the terrorist attack. Can these monies that each family received not be used for this purpose?

Laura · September 16, 2008
Gloria Dei Preschool
HUntingdon Valley, PA, United States


You should have included ways to help. If there are organizations that still need suppport, especially monetary donations. There has been so much written about money that has not been well spent, people are afraid to give. It would be great to get a list of dependable and honest programs to support!

Lorrie · September 16, 2008
United States


Thank you Danica. I was going to write something similar. Even 7 years ago I questioned the amount of financical support being given when so many other families face similar crises with no help at all. Do the families of 9-11 victims deserve help? Of course! But I think ALL families deserve this same help when faced with a tragic and uxexpected loss. (If my volunteer firefighter hiusband died in the line of duty, we would receive no government help/scholarships, yet would our loss be any less because it didn't happen on a certain date?)

Danica Carson · September 16, 2008
Canada


While some will think me callous or unfeeling, I think that it is probably time that families moved on. "Moving on" does not mean forgetting; but rather the recognition that 'we' are the survivors and life does go on - we're left to live it. These young children, along with all of their family members, friends and neighbors, definitely suffered a significant loss; however, children, families - human beings all over the world - suffer significant losses everyday. I am, by no means, suggesting that these children/families should not still have the support of their families and friends - they are all more than 'entitled' to that. Where do we "draw the line", however, in providing and funding services for these families? It was, indeed, a tragedy that took the lives of thousands of men and women - but 'smaller scale' tragedies, if you will, occur every single day for families all over the world; when the mother of three young children succombs to cancer; when the father of a newborn infant is struck down by a drunk driver on his way home from the hospital...these tragedies may effect 'fewer' people but the impact on the family is no less significant. These families grieve the same as anyone else and they, eventually, 'move on' with living. For the most part, 'funding' is not available for these families to go to summer camps, music lessons, counselling, art therapy or to provide scholarships to the 'surviving children' - they "make due" with whatever resources they can manage to find (i.e. life insurance, family support etc.); oftentimes a LOT less than many of the families directly impacted by 9/11 with the loss of a loved one.
I am truly a very giving, loving, compassionate person, but I can also see the reality that, even millions of dollars, can only stretch so far...and in reality, seven years was a pretty long way.



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