ExchangeEveryDay Past Issues

I am very proud that Head Start just never expels but sometimes admits kids who have been expelled from every other place.

I was in agreement with the article until at the end where it says the first thing to do is engage the help of the children. I am guessing there is an implied understanding that there is already an adult who understands the importance of feeling as if they belong, if that was the norm, there would be no reason for this article! We need to acknowledge that most teachers in the field, and certainly the people that are funding our programs, don't understand the foundation to ALL learning is within healthy relationships with each other! The templates we will use to navigate the world for the rest of our lives are developed by the age of three. What those templates look like depends solely on the types of connections and attachments they have during those years. If a child is consistently given the message they don't belong during pre-school, you can pretty much guarantee there will be issues for the rest of their lives in their self-regulation skills and future relationships. Until we advocate to policy makers to back off on the academics and let us focus on nurturing the child’s ability to create healthy attachments, I fear we will always be stuck in the false belief that exposing children to academics earlier and earlier is what makes them smart. It isn't. When a child feels safe and connected they can learn, when they feel unsafe and not connected they react. If we are expelling children in early childhood settings at such an alarming rate, what does this tell us...we have work to do on the adults!

Until the educational, research-validated concept of 'children learn through play' is accepted nationally, and testing corporations get out of business in early childhood classrooms, we are challenged. Children feel they belong when their developmental needs are met through having many choices in the classroom setting, with learning materials, being in different kinds of social groups from pairings to small and large groups. They are partners in learning with the adults and children in the classroom, and when that concept is implemented in our daycares and preschools and kindergartens nationwide, then children will feel like they belong!

Some children endanger other children and really and truly cannot belong. Such children, or more frequently their parents, fail to get the message until the child has been excluded. My son was removed from two child care centers, two vacation Bible schools, and his private kindergarten as well as a YMCA day camp.

His fault? No. Mine.

Finally I obtained help for him. For parents in denial, this can be the step that forces them to get the help that may save the child.

Today? Oh, he is a successful accountant.

Thanks again Ruth Wilson!