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Helping Children See Themselves
July 6, 2023
There is no such thing as work-life balance—it is all life. The balance has to be within you.
-Sadhguru, yogi and author

In Really Seeing ChildrenDeb Curtis writes, "Over the years I’ve cultivated the practice of slowing down and observing closely to see the child’s point of view. I’ve discovered that when I intentionally share the details of what I notice with children, many positive things unfold."

This is evident in Curtis’ documentation, written directly to Charlie:

The table was filled with hundreds of buttons that invited children to immerse themselves in the treasure of exploration and discovery. Charlie, you immediately leaned over the tray of buttons and thoughtfully picked up and studied one button at a time. I wondered what you noticed as you carefully examined each button. You showed remarkable attention to detail as you worked, methodically sorting and classifying the buttons into piles and then creating a design with the buttons based on the attributes you noticed. Though I didn’t hear you speak, I was fascinated by the intensity in your eyes, your facial expressions, and your body language as you worked.

Curtis explains, "I avoid giving directions or asking questions, and instead offer information and descriptions about what I see. There is a shift in my role and I pay closer attention to what comes out of my mouth. As a result, I notice more details and really begin to see children and the complexity of their work. I use words and gestures to reveal to children what I see. I ask the children if I can try out what they are doing and describe my experiences as I work. I also take photos and show children images of what they have done. Through this work together, children build their capacity to initiate and regulate their own ideas and actions."

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Comments (2)

Displaying All 2 Comments
Kirsten Haugen · July 07, 2023
Eugene, OR, United States


That's a great story, Francis, and an illustrative one! I think you are reinforcing Deb's point about observation. Close observation, grounded in respect for each child, is what allows us to honor one child for their careful concentration and another for their exuberant efficiency! The cascade of buttons in the sunlight reminds me of one of my first students Chaz - way back in the 80s - who had a love for glass, especially the glorious crash it made when smashed to the ground. Chaz was autistic, had very little verbal language, was very quick on his feet, and had a mom who celebrated and adapted to his unique way of engaging the world — they both taught me so much! We often took Chaz and his classmates to the store to start off cooking activities. I remember more than one occasion when he would race to the peanut butter aisle, raise a jar overhead and smash it to the tile floor. In other contexts one could imagine this as performance art, the way it shattered and splattered and stuck all at once - a full sensory experience. Of course, we did have to pay for the peanut butter and help with clean up and make amends in other ways. We rather quickly became quite good friends with the generous store owner.

Francis Wardle · July 06, 2023
University of Phoenix/ Red Rocks Community College
Denver, Colorado, 80222, Colorado, United States


But what if Sarah takes her arm and deliberately wipes all the buttons onto the floor, "creating a beautiful cascade of color reflected by the evening sunlight"? My two oldest daughters were helping decorate our Christmas tree. The oldest carefully and methodically decorated a pre-cut star to create a beautiful decoration, which she then hung up on the tree. It took her 20-30 minutes of concentrated effort. She was proud of her star! Our second daughter grabbed the empty star shape, dashed off a few colorful patterns, and proudly hung up her product. It took about 30 seconds! Today both are successful mothers and professionals in their own right!



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