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Seeing Children
April 10, 2009
Years ago, Mum went to a primary school that borders the park – for nature walks, right here…She remembers collecting oak and sycamore leaves, pines cones, conkers. All the children would lay their finds on a nature table – I wonder how many schools have a nature table these days. I know mine doesn’t.
-Dara McAnulty, in his book, Diary of a Young Naturalist

Jim Greenman recently related to Bonnie that his favorite piece of writing was "Seeing Children: A Question of Perspective," which appeared in the January 1991 issue of Exchange. Here is his introduction to the article:

My daughter, Emma, lives life as opera. Since birth, she has attacked life with no holds barred pleasure, incapable of understatement. She overwhelms spaces with her large and dynamic physical presence and her enthusiastic loudness, seizing the life around her — perpetually moving, gobbling up experience as well as food and drink. The tribal delights of childhood fuel her day.

Love relationships go through phases of congruence. When Emma was nine, I looked at this nine-year-old Bette Midler daughter of mine and craved the polite mannered, anorexic delicacy of some of her friends. Our life together seemed like a series of short, dispiriting skirmishes as we navigated hurried days and small spaces. Emma was definitely situationally disadvantaged, sharing small living space with a father who worked and traveled too much. I wanted a quieter, and perhaps more socially acceptable, way of being. The relationship slowly worsened as I lost sight of all those qualities I loved in her. We were out of synch; it was not a happy time for either of us.

I happened to be listening to an artist, Red Grooms, talking about his childhood. He creates delightful, energetic paintings and walk-in tableaus (you become part of a cartoon-like scene) and is a large bear of a man. He described himself as a child much like Emma, and he used the term ebullient — bubbling over with energy, enthusiasm.

As that year's up and down life with Emma went on, I clung to that term. When I looked at her and saw a huge, clumsy, loud, grabbing child and began to cringe, I thought "my wonderful ebullient daughter — such a strong life force." And I soon began to really see her again, as a complete person. I relaxed and became more accepting; and, as I relaxed, she relaxed (although with Emma, relaxing still involved a good deal of high drama and chaos).

Coming upon a positive label for Emma saved my relationship with her that year. It changed my perspective which badly needed changing.

This article can be viewed in its entirety on the Exchange home page.



Bright Horizons Family Solutions has set up an online condolence book where you can leave your reflections on Jim for his family. Jim's family has also asked that contributions in Jim’s memory be made to the Bright Horizons Foundation for Children, which he led with vision and great pride. The Bright Horizons Foundation for Children creates Bright Spaces, play spaces for homeless children, in shelters around the country. Jim believed that every child needs a place to play, especially during times of distress.

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Comments (6)

Displaying All 6 Comments
Ruth Liew · April 17, 2009
Global Leaders Malaysia
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia


Jim Greenman will be dearly missed by all in this global network of early childhood care and education.
I have been a great admirer of Jim's work since I started years ago as a preschool educator.
An inspiration to us all who strive our very best in our daily struggle to sustain the quality of ecce for children in our own country.

Peter Ashmore · April 12, 2009
Canada


Jim Greenman's early death is a loss to all in the early childhood community who knew, admired and were inspired to make changes in our "real world". It is a special loss to family and to those that worked with him closely over many years.

Thanks to all at Child Care Information Exchange for bringing Jim Greenman to us through the articles in CCIE and the books that you published.

Over many years I've kept an informal (and I'm sure incomplete) file of the articles "Living in the Real World" as they came out and of course there is the wonderful collection of the articles/columns published as "Places for Childhoods" in 1998.

I wonder if there are plans or a way through Exchange that the collection could be completed to the present either in a second book volume or in some on-line version. The proceeds could be used in support of Jim's family or as a contribution to the Bright Spaces work he championed throught the Bright Horizons Foundation.

Thanks again and in sadness at Jim's passing.

sheila wray · April 10, 2009
AEYC
Juneau, Ak, United States


Aside from all the work and energy Jim Greenman has given the field of early care and education and children and their families around the world, perhaps the greatest gift is in this article. He reinforces for all of us the idea that we can choose how we perceive the people and situations life has granted us. By re framing his attitude of his daughter, aloud for all of us to hear, he grants us the gift of remaking our attitudes everyday, the gift of perspective, and the gift of remembering the importance of relationships. Thank you Jim.

Deborah Sheely · April 10, 2009
Lincoln, NE, United States


Beautiful....I have an exuberant, fierce little one to love at my house...who sings her way through life....

Judith Pack · April 10, 2009
Child Care Resources
Red Bank, NJ, United States


I remember this article and have shared it with others through the years. How fitting that you used a Feynman quote--another person who could express big ideas in a honest, hearfelt and clear fashion.
We can celebrate Jim Greenman's life and grieve for all the more he would have contributed.
Thank you Exchange for sharing this.

Brittany Lucci · April 10, 2009
Morgantown, WV, United States


This was a wonderful article...an eye opener! Ebullient...my new favorite term!



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