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Strong Reaction to 'Kicked out of Preschool'
August 1, 2008
It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.
-Wendell Berry
ExchangeEveryDay for July 17, "Kicked Out of Preschool," generated a tremendous amount of thoughtful feedback. We encourage you to go back and review the many responses to this story about children being expelled from early childhood programs. Here are just two of the comments...

Lisa from Milwaukee, Wisconsin:
"As I read the article I started wondering, what do people expect preschools to do when they have a challenging child? Our teachers barely get paid above minumum wage, they have little formal training, unlike their counterparts in the K-12 system and no special education resources like in K12. When you have a child enrolled who acts out violently, or runs out of the center everytime they get angry, there is only so much a program can handle before your state license is endangered. I am not talking about mild behavior problems, I am talking about children who have diagnosed or undiagnosed ED, or SPED. One state licensor told me, 'I know you have a good heart but you cannot keep children in your program who will endanger the program.'"

Joyce from Houston, Texas
:
"If my son had not been disenrolled from several preschools, I would never have got the message that he needed help with his behavior. Okay, yes, I am hard to convince about the other-than-perfection of my children. Now, he's a wonderful man (and earns about five times what I do).

"There comes a time..."



Exchange is proud to announce its latest publication, The Top Ten Preschool Parenting Problems and What to Do about Them! This practical guidebook for parents was written by Roslyn Duffy, the parenting expert who contributes "From a Parent's Perspective" in every issue of Exchange. The top ten problems addressed with a light touch by Duffy include...
  • Whining
  • Not Listening
  • Meltdowns
  • Negotiation and Manipulation
  • Morning Hassles, Mealtime Mischief, Bedtime Blues
  • Sibling Fights
  • Clean Up and Chores
  • Bathroom Battles
  • Hurting Behaviors
  • Bad Language

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Comments (14)

Displaying 5 of 14 Comments   [ View all ]
cheryl · August 04, 2008
child care in texas
keller, Texas, United States


I just won't to say that as a preschool Director if we do not Hvae the parent's of the unrulie children go some where else we will have children leaving becaue we did not let these childfren find other care.

Ilene · August 03, 2008
SD Philadelphia
Philadelphia, PA, United States


The article and the responses posted clearly show the importance of quality preschool programs working in conjunction with comprehensive interdisciplinary support teams. With support from social workers, special needs and health coordinators, nutritionists, and educational coaches, early care and education staff as well as families are provided support and guidance through challenging situations. When appropriate, assistance in navigating systems that provide specialized services for children and families is offered. PA has increased funding for Pre-K children enabling families to access quality early care and education programs while supporting providers in order to ensure all children are provided an opportunity to learn and grow, and successfully transition to Kindergarten!

What to do? · August 02, 2008
United States


I guess I have more of a question than response, my 2 1/2 year old son just got terminated from daycare yesterday. I was and still am devastated.They kicked him out for temper tantrums and being an endangerment to other children. I hired speech, developmental and behavioral therapists to all put together a plan for the daycare and my husband and I. The plan was to be put together on Monday and the daycare won't even wait until then, they said even if that happened, they still believe he needs a different environment. I am just very frustrated! We live in a small town and this seemed to be one of the nicest daycares here. He has been in daycare since he was 4 months old, his old daycare, was out of town, he left in Mid April, because I accepted a job working from home. The old daycare was WONDERFUL! They never had any problems with his behavior. He has only been at this new one for 2 months and they NEVER mentnioned him endangering other children until yesterday, yes I knew about the tantrums and that is what we were working on, but not about him biting or kicking other children until yesterday and now its too late, so our plans our out the window, he can't enter preschool until January when he turns 3. I don't know if I should take him to the babysitter (who has no structure or learning curricula)we have until then or try to find another structured program for him until January. PLEASE HELP!!!!

Holly McFaul · August 02, 2008
Oakland University
Rochester, Michigan, United States


I think the issue here isn't that our program might not be a good fit for a child. I think the issue is how do we react. Do we place the child into another program better suited to their circumstances and find resources to help the families work through the issues? Do we let the family know step by step that their child is struggling and try to find a middle ground to make it work? I have interviewed too many parents whose children were expelled with NO support from the program(s).

Yes I agree that not every program is the best fit for every child. I also agree we have little if any state or federal funding to hire specialists to brainstorm ideas with our teachers on how to make things work. However there is a more appropriate way for programs to handle expelling a family or child. As early childhood professionals we should be lobbying for Federal regulations and funding to make early learning and high quality chid care options for families a priority. Until that day happens we will continue to have children expelled.

Katherine Hartley · August 01, 2008
First Years Children's Center
Bainbridge Island, WA, United States


I ahve never kicked out a child from my child care center. We have over 120 enrolled and they are all under the age of 5. But I really wanted to. I tried over and over again to talk with the parents but they just laughed and said "he's just a kid". The parents never help us work with the child to find better ways to interact with other children. He would talked to their child about beat on, pull down, hit, & choke other children, no matter their age. The parents also never NEVER emphasized the guidlines of the center in respect to running inside and yelling at the top of their lungs.
I was happy when they decided to leave, I guess they got tired of me asking them for help!
Kathy



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